First things first- What do you want?
It’s important to think about what you want from Tinder. Your ultimate end goal will depend on how you approach texting-
- If you want to get a potential relationship, you need to take an interest in the person, and how they think
- If you just want a hookup (no shame in it!), you need to make it obvious, without being too blunt
- If you’re somewhere in the middle, it’s best to balance the two, and aim for something in the middle
Tips for Getting a Relationship out of Tinder
Step 1: Establish Common Ground
If the enemy of your enemy is your friend, why can’t that friend also be a lover? Finding something early on that you’re both passionate about or both despise is key. Optimists will gravitate towards positivism, while pessimists will prefer to unite around something that bothers them. The key here is to keep things light-hearted, so hyperbole should be encouraged. You might want to bring up:
- A hobby you both share
- Academic studies, or uni life in general
- Whether you love or hate clubs
- A niche food you’re especially fond of (Pineapple on pizza??)
- A topical event, TV show,
- Life in your local town
Step 2: Get Their Number
The challenge with Tinder is that your rivals are always one swipe away- you could be having a great chat with a 10/10 one day, and then suddenly they might find a better offer and fob you off entirely. The best way not to have to deal with the competition, is to remove yourself from the battleground. By moving into their texts/Insta DMs/WhatsApp messages/etc. you also become more legitimate- texts are how we communicate with our real friends, Tinder is where we wind up strangers for a laugh.
It’s best to be subtle when asking for a number. Don’t just ask for one outright, you might seem a tad intense. A few strategies you may wish to consider:
- Have something cute you want to show them a picture of (not your penis), that you can only send via WhatsApp
- Make a joke out of moving on into the ‘next stage of your relationship’ together
- Play a guessing game, and ask for the prize to be their number
Step 3: Organise a Date
That simple, eh? Not quite. You should aim to plan a date as soon as possible, but not tooo soon. Let me explain:
Come in too early and the other person will feel like they’ve not got to know you well enough to know if it’s worth dedicating the time to meet up with you.
Wait too long and the other person will feel like you’re either not interested, or too shy to bother asking them out.
So, when do you know the time is right? There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, however, there are a few things to watch out for:
- If you’ve been texting solidly over a number of days
- If you feel excited whenever you see your phone buzz with a message from them
- If they’ve been keeping you updated on their upcoming plans- a good excuse to fit yourself into them
After that, it’s up to you. Good luck out there.
Tips for Getting a Hookup out of Tinder
Step 1: Make it Known that You’re Down to Clown
People on Tinder who just want some cheap kicks are generally east to spot- they’ll be flirtatious and discuss sex early on in the conversation. You should initiate this dialogue soon- if it goes well, you’re in there; if it doesn’t you’ll know they weren’t interested and you’ve not wasted anyone’s time.
It’s generally best to approach the topic of sex subtly. Worst case scenario, you wind up lookin’ creepy.
Instead, why not dance around the topic by using metaphors and similes. It’s much more fun to use illusions, than to be blunt and obvious- give them unexpected answers and keep them on their toes.
Step 2: Make it Clear Where You Are and When You’re Free
Once you’ve established that they would, hypothetically, be up for an encounter; and you both know what you’re after, it’s time to plan out the logistics. Sexy sexy logistics.
You want to make it known that you’re available, but you also don’t want to appear desperate. Don’t be afraid to tell someone you’re busy- it’ll only make you seem more desirable and potentially mysterious.
Step 3: Meet Up As Soon As Possible
Momentum is key when you’re gunning for a hookup. If you wait too long, the other person will lose interest and move on. Once you’ve established a repertoire, your goal is to move things on as swiftly as possible. Invite them for a drink, or be direct and cut to the chase, good luck out there!
General Tips for Talking on Tinder
- Don’t forget that when you’ve just started chatting to someone, they have 0 frame of reference as to how serious/sarcastic you are
- Going 24 hours without replying to someone is a bad move- always keep the conversation going if possible- leave it too long and they’ll likely get back to swiping
- If they’re replying with one-word answers, they’re probably not the one
- If a picture is worth 1,000 words, a GIF must be worth 100,000
- Always try to say the unexpected- they’ve spoken on these apps about their day, job, the weather before- be unique!
- Don’t be weird